It is all divine.

♥

A few years ago, I found myself in Nashville with my mother. She was participating in a conference for her job and me, well, I was just tagging along and in many ways, attempting to purge the stress of reality. I find it funny, yet frightening that I can recall certain moments & feelings from that trip, but I also understand that it was necessary.

I have never been religious, but I do consider myself to be spiritual. I feel, I know, I hear, I listen, I act in accordance to the only divine spirit I've ever known. The divine knew me, but I didn't know it until I entered Nashville. I remember walking around this hotel, Grand Ole Opry, in awe. Architecturally, it was similar to old English mansions, majestic in detail and soothing in it's cool tan/neutral tones. A thousand vines of leaves adorned the walls, leading to a mini-mall full of little shops and guests who, like me, were just as taken back by everything around them. When I had reached the end of my journey from one side of the hotel, I went through the maze, following the signs, which led me to the other side. I walked back to the center and saw water. I stopped. In front of me, the light from outside beamed through the roof, showcasing a pebbled bridge with cast iron railing. Underneath, a man-made pond and a boat, carrying guests. As silly as this sounds to me and must sound to you, I felt something shift. There was no trick of my eye that led me to this conclusion, it was the air I was breathing, the sounds I heard, and what I felt. It was all divine.

I went back to the hotel room and returned a phone call from an acquaintance. He was on his way to meet with me and for some reason, I was nervous. We had only met once, but there was something about him that I gravitated to. Besides, I had to return his Lupe Fiasco cd, which I mistakenly kept when I left Atlanta. Within a few minutes, I dressed myself in a pair of jeans and a black & white sweater. Nothing fancy. Just comfortable. I walked, through people & their laughter, on top of the pebbled bridge, looked up and saw him. His face was glowing, dark & smooth, with a smile so wide & pretty that my insides smiled right back. Immediately, I felt another shift.

He said "hello" and I replied with a unknowingly charmed "hi." We, two strangers in awe, walked side by side through the same laughter, the same people, but this, whatever it was, was very new and very beautiful. He had taken the day off from work to show me around and our first stop was to a small cafe called "Cafe Coco." When we walked in, my insides smiled again, for the sheer fact that this little cafe, with its distressed walls, small corridors, and minimal space...was perfect. The next hour was filled with stares, vibes, and the type of crush that could only be described as "school yard lust." We finished each other's sentences, shared our food, and enjoyed each other's stories. Without ever being told what I liked, he seemed to know. After we ate, he led me to another small spot, a quaint bookstore. The smell of incense brushed my face as I walked in and around each room, inhaling the peace surrounding me. Then, we left. I had no idea where he was taking me, but as we drew closer to a large building, I knew it must be art-related. We arrived at the Fisk Museum and for the remainder of our time there, we talked about relationships while admiring the work in front of us.

I had only seen his work once. Being a model, I had always been in front of the camera, but photography was always an interest. Looking through his camera, I asked questions about how he got started and what was his goal as an artist. I was sure they he'd been asked the same question a million times, but I didn't care and he seemed to be happy to share. Again, we talked and stared. He never took his eyes off of me and throughout the night, I felt myself shift into a zone. I was at peace.

A month later, he drove to Charlotte to visit me and soon thereafter, we began dating. It lasted for 2 years. That experience alone, although it did not end on the best terms, was the first time I had been in love. Not in love with love, but fully engaged in the spirit of love, drinking it, eating it, breathing it, cultivating a kingdom from it. We intentionally drowned ourselves without thinking to come up for air. At least we were together.

When I came across this photo, I did not know it would lead to me sharing this story, but I did feel a shift. Lately, I have been spending more time in meditation, choosing to stop planning and just submerge myself into action. I've grown to not only accept my flaws, but to also love them. I guess that you could say that I've been "shifting" towards my destiny. It began at birth, met up with me in Nashville, and walked with me from that moment on. If you've ever felt a shift, something you couldn't explain, but weren't afraid of, something that brought peace...hold on to it. Never let it go. Just listen and walk.